"Goodnight Nico"
"Goodnight brain. I hope you'll let me get a good night's sleep without too much bother."
"I will but - Nico. There's just one thing."
"This better be quick. What is it, brain?"
"Well, do you remember how your younger sister was massively into the band Hanson during the brief but eventful peak of their musical career?"
"Yes."
"And you know how you can for some reason remember the names of all the siblings in the Hanson family, even though you can barely remember the names of anyone you went to high school with?"
"Yes."
"Well, you know how the family had another baby in 1997?"
"Yes."
"And you remember your sister telling you about how Hanson announced at a concert she was named Zoe?"
"WHERE IS THIS GOING"
"Well, Zoe Hanson would be 20 now"
"Well, Zoe Hanson would be 20 now"
"Yes she would."
"You haven't finished your degree yet... Do you think she's finished one?"*
"STFU"
"I bet she's a really good driver too and probably has her own house."
"I will find imitation barbiturates on the black market I swear to God. I don't know how one does such a thing but it's got to be easier than listening to this every night".
"Do you think you'll ever find love again?"
"..."
"I mean you'll probably need to lose a fair bit of weight first"
"..."
"Nico?"
"ENOUGH!"
"No, one last thing and this is really important".
"What is it, brain?"
"Why is Richard Wilkins still a thing? I mean there's two more generations of talent since him to put on TV. Why is he still getting air time. Why-"
And I smother myself to sleep.
* Whatever Zoe Hanson has made of her life is probably on the internet somewhere but I really couldn't be bothered.
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