Say...What?

Have you ever sat down and considered what TV advertising is actually saying?

Recently I saw an ad for a well-known brand of shampoo, boasting that it contained the "smallest ever polymers to repair hair strands".

What are these polymers, and why is their being small a good thing? When you go to get your car fixed, do you ask for the mechanic who is 140cm tall, because he'll be the best at repairing your car?

Though it does sound like a great premise for a sitcom - the Littlest Mechanic in the Whole Wide World. If you steal the idea I want a producer's credit.

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Reading a blog post furthering the argument that Ann Coulter is a man, based an analysis of her writings at Gender Guesser, I decided to test my own writings. I ran a few posts, from various times over the years, through the tool.

The result? My writings tested, time and again, as MALE. In fact I never got a female reading - weak male was the "best" I could do.

I have three theories as to why this is:

I grew up and lived most of my adult life in a tough place, and most of my friends are guys;

I'm left handed/right brained, and;

Most of the political/humorous writing I've read, and therefore the styles I've subconciously tried to imitate, has been by male writers - P.J. O'Rourke, Al Franken et al. The only female writer who had an impact on what I do - and it was a huge impact - was Molly Ivins. (And I wonder how her writings would test? I'll give them a whirl sometime).

Oh yes, Man Coulter? I despise your childish name calling, but for you - who called Molly Ivins ugly when she was dying of cancer - I'll make an exception.

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