The Sky Is A Hazy Shade Of Winter
03 April 2006
Okay, so winter is upon us for another year (I wonder how many I've lived through? My seasons are all out, due to moving from the northern hemisphere to the southern as a child). I didn't enjoy my first non-daylight-saving work morning as much as I had hoped, because this morning at 5:50am Xander climbed onto my chest and started batting at my nose to get me to wake up; 5:50am having been 6:50am and therefore time to get up last week. (I can't really complain though - how many times has Xander stopped me from being late in the past, by waking me if my clock radio doesn't work? How does he know? He never wakes me on the weekends, or if I'm sick. I don't give that cat enough credit).
I did give him something else...a brand new jewelled collar, complete with a purple name tag. I've been told "You can't put that on him, he's a boy!" But as I've pointed out, I don't care and neither does he. He does need to wear a tag now, as I've started letting him come out into the yard with me when I'm say, hanging out that laundry; although as when we're inside, he shows little inclination to be more than two feet away from me. Of course, not always, such as yesterday evening when I went out to the bins and he slipped past my legs, ran out the door, down the stairs and under the house. It took ages to coax him out. In the end, I resorted to pleading: "Please come out baby, it's cold out here, and I'm frightened, and I don't like the look of those teenagers!" He listened, in the end (I think he may have seen a mouse under there that frightened him).
Of course, one of the pleasures of winter (okay, all of life) is enjoying lots of drinks, but now apparently there are calls to ban pre-mixed alcoholic drinks. Apparently they are too attractive to young drinkers. I doubt it - have you seen the price of these things?!? When I was young, we all got drunk on cask wine, because that's what we could afford. No, theses drinks are aimed at every marketers favourite demographic - the affluent, educated 25-34 year olds. (We grew up on ecstasy and can surely handle some artificial flavours and vodka now). Anyway, I'm sick of the nanny state mentality that seems to rule young people's lives these days (witness every year on TV, prior to the schoolies week celebrations, the stories on current affairs shows - "Will my children be safe at schoolies?" If they've graduated from high school, they're not children anymore, are they?)
My main gripe is the possibility that UDL vodka and green apple could be banned. I love that stuff. So, what I propose is this: if premixed drinks are banned, I will chain myself to a flagpole and go on an alcohol strike outside Federal Parliament until the ban is lifted. I mean it, I won't touch a drop, no matter how much delicious wine I'm offered. All the bottle shops in Newcastle (and even a fair few in Sydney) will watch their profits tumble. But that's not what will change people's minds. No, the deciding factor will be the fact that the only thing scarier than me when I've been drinking is me when I haven't been drinking. Picture Bender in I, Roommate and you'll get the idea. Now that Canberra is hosting international heads of state on a regular basis, the last thing they'll want is an out-of-control, demented sober woman raving about the place. It will work very well.
Who's with me?
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