The Certainties of Work

May I point a few of these out, as certainties of a typical working day:

• When the alarm first sounds, you will be momentarily paralysed, unable to remember what day it is or whether you have a job at all
  
• The shirt you planned to wear during your big presentation will turn out to have a large tear/stain when removed from the wardrobe
  
• The bus/train will be proportionally late to the recent increase in fares
  
• You get caught checking personal email before you have fully logged in
  
• The network will crash at a crucial moment
  
• Weasels will take credit for you work
  
• The biggest loser in the office will be promoted soon
  
• The cafe will mess up your lunch order
  
• Status reports will be requested for all overdue projects
  
• The department will be reorganised in the next few months, for no
  apparent reason
  
• The sooner you have to be back at work, the longer the queue at the bank
  
• The person before you will have taken the last of the coffee
  
• The new employee who showed so much promise will turn out to be
  ineffective
  
• The day will be over, eventually...
  
• ...and before you know it, this will all be ten years ago!!!

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